Who is Little VIVO Lady?
She is the Warrior Waitress, also known as LVL. Think Basil Fawlty & Fawlty Towers meets waitress with attitude in the CBD.
Mmm, let me see. She's writing about you and all the little things that can happen when you think she's not looking.
Just when you thought it was safe to sip your decaff soy latte or enjoy your Turkish toast with "really light butter and a tiny bit of vegemite cooked to a golden but light brown almost honey colour." Seriously, think about it.
Lust & Latte is about love, hate, revenge, caffeine and the hospitality way. Little VIVO Lady is always in the right place at the right time to witness and report the antics of the CBD.
Do you know something she doesn't?
Governing Women and Business
Women are trouble. Big statement? Yes. Am I a woman hater for saying that, or betraying my sisters? No. I said trouble, I didn’t say dumb or slow or painful. Just trouble.
Men are easy. Easy to serve, easy to work out and even easier to work a big tip from. Just takes a touch….
Women are trouble because we think, plot and organise. We rally. Think about it. There is no man movement. Men have really done nothing astonishing ever. They just exist. Women change laws, shift the very universe on its foundations just to get our own way. We have awards named after us, stars, flowers and cakes.
Leggy Business
Lets face it, I’m not always the most loved person at VIVO. I get hate mail, glares, sarcastic comments and general bad behaviour. You might say that it could be the result of my own bad behaviour -if you dared that is! Or you could look into it a bit more and examine the circumstances, a touch of CSI if you will. I am usually the enforcer, the organiser, the realist. And that mostly brings out the worst in others. If you are under the assumption that you can come into VIVO and do what ever your little heart desires, please rethink this concept. The customer is not always right, and if you are occasionally right, its because it works for us at that time. Have I managed to destroy your fantasy? Now lets talk about legs.
VIVO Cafe – Your Local Soap Opera
We all know that I am not really a waitress. Or at least not only a waitress. I am really the counsellor, the event organiser, the marriage referee, the ultimate PA, a great barista, an awesome warrior waitress and my boss’s right & left hand. Basically I fix everything while serving people. I observe the perplexing bad behaviour of people who frequent our establishment. The complex personalities who really find it difficult to behave well, but incredibly easy to behave and act like buffoons. And those who have sometimes either lost the plot or just left it at home for the day. Its not that I don’t like my job, its that I think maybe I like it too much. My people need me…..
Your Business Mother
“I am not your mother” is a phrase I must say about 100 times a day. To customers, other staff members and my boss (not out loud to HER you understand, I’m not suicidal – see HER blog http://blog.angelavithoulkas.com.au “Mothering Your Business”)
Its a strange situation when those who appear to be grown ups act like children and require mothering in the workplace. It appears that all maturity is stripped away once they cross over – walk in the front door basically. Male customers behave like pigtail pulling pre adolescents, female customers act like obsessed teenagers from Gossip Girl or Home & Away and my comrades, well THEY act like we are in a zoo. I blame the customers for this too.
Business is Taxing
I know my boss is bad blush cranky right now – her face is the colour of a $2 blush. Really really bad look on her. I know its because of the Tax stuff that the Government has announced. That’s great work guys, really need her in a bad mood on a long term basis. Thanks heaps. I don’t understand it all, I mean I’m a warrior waitress, not a tax person. But cranky I do understand, her blog is http://blog.angelavithoulkas.com.au and you can read for yourself. Anyway, back to me.
Pulling a Business Face
My boss has rules, she’s got rules about everything. It can be frustrating and annoying and boring. But its her business blah blah blah & whatever. One of the rules I agree with (I will never ever tell her though) is my business face. She’s got this rule about swearing at customers or telling them what we really think – like that stops me. I just choose to mostly say stuff when the customer can’t hear or when they are leaving. So, since I can’t verbally express myself, since I can’t be honest out loud, I agree that I should look it. Her rule is for our business face to reflect the message of the business. Sometimes my message can include my tongue sticking out and/or my nose scrunching. It can sometimes include a snort. That’s a sound not a word and I think a snort is a facial expression anyway. Try it, you can’t snort without making some kind of face.
Declutter Your Customer
Its not what you think. Decluttering your customer is not about accessory reduction – although with some people LESS IS MORE, certainly with Ms Weak Long Black who we can hear before we see coming into the shop, or Mr Strong Black Tea who we can smell before we see. Its not about their emotional baggage either, even though they take out there frustrations on me & mine. Its about making sure they shed all their illusions regarding their retail behaviour before they begin their paying activity with you.
A day in the life of Mr & Mrs Cranky Customer
I know I’m just a waitress. I know I don’t rock the world or rule the planet. I don’t make life threatening decisions or solve world poverty. But I can make or break your day.
I know my boss underestimates me, barely even acknowledges my existence. Except when she needs something. Just like Mr & Mrs Cranky. Hereby known as Mr Skim Flat White (SFW) and Mrs Skim Latte (SL). Lets see, where to start…. oh yeah, FIRST FREAKING THING IN THE MORNING.
The Politics of Hospitality Customer Service
Are there politics in service?
Hospitality customer service is what I am referring to. Short answer, yes. Long answer, yeessss. There are many politically sensitive issues in service that require various degrees of maneuvering, gentle persuasions and sometimes outright declaration of war. They don’t call me the Warrior Waitress for nothing.
Of course sex and politics have always gone hand in hand. Just before all your minds seep into the gutter, by sex I mean boys and girls, as in M or F. Not the act of doing, but the state of being a M or a F. Most sensitive issues in Hospitality occur around the M / F situation. Read the rest of this entry »
George Michael, Lust & Latte and Rude People
Its been a long day, its almost a full moon and I have been waiting patiently for George Michael at the Sydney Football Stadium. I am finally relaxing after another hectic week serving lingering lattes and catastrophic cappuccinos. People breakup over lattes and get fired over cappuccinos. Anyway that’s all for another day. Read the rest of this entry »
