Archive for the ‘Live Reporting from VIVO’ Category
Being nice sucks !
Yuk! Being nice sucks. I think it tastes a bit like a weak decaf soy latte extra hot.
I personally have never had one (NOR DO I INTEND TO). Thank goodness things got back to normal this month because I noticed that certain issues which SOME people took offence to actually take place in other places outside of VIVO.
For instance, we – as in the community of VIVO including staff and customers, get annoyed with people who take an hour to get their money out when they get to the front of the queue. Apparently people do that on the buses as well. They get on with a $50 note or no ticket on a ticket only bus. I am sure Bus drivers could write a pretty interesting LUST & LATTE letter.
How many places have you seen a VIVO coffee cup?
What a month! Things have been going nuts. It almost feels like a full moon everyday with most people allowing their inner werewolf to filter through.
Sometimes I think I have been caught in a Benny Hill re run (please say you know what I mean) where just looking at something causes an explosion. I have endured shonky repair men and a dry cleaner who thinks pressing my frocks the way I want seems strange and charges me extra for “specific instructions”.
Oh for the day I can tell him where he can go iron you know what! He’s just so good at giving me what I need. Now how often do we get to say that?
VIVO procedure for dealing with cold weather
How cold has it been! I am not one to moan – much, but I do not operate efficiently while shivering constantly and not being able to feel my toes.
How many layers can I wear? Currently I am at 4-5 depending on the time of the day and how I feel. I need the heater at 30 degrees to feel comfortable. Minimum.
Or I am contemplating a new VIVO procedure called HUG – A – MAN Day. This will be a simple straight forward system where a male subject is selected based on their potential to create warmth. He is then hugged tightly and if necessary your hands are then shoved up inside his shirt.
Happy Birthday Month at VIVO
WOW, June has been a huge birthday month at VIVO.
I had birthday cake everywhere. It seems most of the VIVO team AND customers are Geminis. Some have aged gracefully, some have not. Lust & Latte also had its birthday along with Krusty, Stip, & Hot Mama.
A special mention to Mr Large Skim Flat White no sugar – ‘cause he is sweet enough! Happy 50th. He travels with his twin Mr Large Skim Cap 2 sugars. There may be something inappropriate there that could require disciplinary action in the future. Have to get back to you on that.
The birth of ‘Cranky Pants’
So, apparently the new big thing is about finding your “happy place”.
We are told we must strive for it and take responsibility for it.
Oki doki. I guess we will be doing this in between petrol hikes, interest rate rockets, wars, coffee machine repair men who think urgent means tomorrow and the general warm and fuzzy feelings that are displayed by the CBD workers who wear cranky pants. What’s cranky pants? Well, there was a point a little while ago when one of my chefs (who I can’t name because as she is about to be a beautiful bride & I would not want to humiliate her….uh oh, did I say that out loud?) was a bit moody all the time. And then it became contagious.
Lust & Latte finally receives hate mail
I think I can safely boast that I have officially arrived in the arena of gossip and power.
I am finally receiving HATE mail. YIPPEEEE for Lust & Latte.
I have waited years for this to happen, for people to finally take Lust & Latte seriously and at last people are paying attention. They are taking time out of their busy schedules and expressing their opinions regarding my little bits of information. I love it!
Scandals, informants and general gossip
Well people, this month was hard. We have been incredibly busy and I have never in my life had so many informants dob in their colleagues.
I am drinking a glass of wine as I write because my nerves are shot. The shocking scandals that are right this second taking place under my very nose without my knowledge, could qualify as the single most terrifying situation I have been in. That includes a bank hold up a few years ago.
This cannot continue.
I insist that you all confess immediately for your own peace of mind. After all, I won’t tell everyone!
Ode To Social Media
You get on twitter with your tweeps
You give yourself a twitter handle
You do twitvid, twitpic and use tweetdeck
You follow me but I may not follow you
And then you unfollow me too.
They call it conversation
And then they call it a blog
You open a page, you say what you want
You post it way up there
Some read it and some don’t.
Work too much have no life club
Have you heard about the new club that has members growing by the hundreds – besides CLUB VIVO?
It’s the W.T.M.H.N.L. Work Too Much Have No Life Club.
It seems that VIVO is frequented by many of them, and rumour has it I may be nominated for President. These members arrive at VIVO at around the same time as me, 5.45am. Still dark. We all seem to have a lot in common:
- extending the “normal” 12 hour working day by coming in a bit earlier.
- no need for a lunch break, we don’t get hungry.
- our friends think we have left the country because we don’t return their calls since its not work related.
- we’ve tried to become alcoholics bit it interferes with our work.
Customer gets hot and I get bothered !
Alright, OK, I know and finally I DONT CARE ANYMORE THAT IT’S HOT!
All last week I had to deal with the heat, work in it, run around in it, serve you in it. All last week I could feel the sweat, and I don’t sweat. Just my eyebrows sometimes.
And all last week I had to listen to almost every customer whine. The ones that sit in air-con all day, but have to go out to feed. Their nasal pitch intensified along with the barometer, their annoyance factor matched it. I am amazed at my self restraint and good behaviour – amazed. The customer however, I do not find amazing. There were of course a few standouts….
