Archive for the ‘Live Reporting from VIVO’ Category
Tourists hit VIVO with odd behaviour
So, now that we have had way too much food but not nearly enough drink, there just may be a surplus of Jenny Craig candidates.
Judging by the closer fitting than usual suits, skirts & trousers and the enormous swing to skim milk I think it’s safe to say there are lots of chubby bubbies in George Street. I can see that Hug A Man Day on Wednesday’s may prove a “wider” challenge than usual.
I am not a big fan of the month of January normally, mainly because Lust & Latte doesn’t have all its bountiful and plentiful garden of victims to select from, but this year I have been deliciously surprised by the huge influx of tourists and their odd behaviour. No need to panic for Little VIVO Lady, I will cope. It’s not the same, but for some of you it may be a relief.
This is not a ‘Dear Rosie’ Column
As you all know, Lust and Latte is entirely made up of fiction – or is it? Of course it is. Strange things never happen here, and people never surprise me…. Nor do they participate in compromising activities in public. Well, almost never. And certainly never at VIVO. As part of our ongoing commitment to outstanding customer service, we believe it is our duty to communicate with you certain events and daily occurrences which could be of interest to our customers. So basically we’re dobbing.
And you thought VIVO was just a café!
This is not a Dear Rosie column. If you have lost your love or have a “rash” you can’t explain away, I AM NOT YOUR ANSWER. DO NOT EMAIL ME. On the other hand, if you know how someone got that rash or who took away their lover, then Lust & Latte is for you!
My Boss, A Prime Minister & Me
Why is it the more excited my boss gets about an event, the more I dread it? Why do her increased levels of excitement translate into my increased levels of work?
Come on people, its answer time. Why?
Scary Business
Don’t worry, I don’t bite. Unless I’m asked to or I just plain feel like it. Customers need to have a healthy dose of fear before I serve them. I find it makes my job easier. Sit when you are told, order when you are told, and respond when you are spoken to. These are the rules. Break ‘em and ….well lets just say DONT.
Governing Women and Business
Women are trouble. Big statement? Yes. Am I a woman hater for saying that, or betraying my sisters? No. I said trouble, I didn’t say dumb or slow or painful. Just trouble.
Men are easy. Easy to serve, easy to work out and even easier to work a big tip from. Just takes a touch….
Women are trouble because we think, plot and organise. We rally. Think about it. There is no man movement. Men have really done nothing astonishing ever. They just exist. Women change laws, shift the very universe on its foundations just to get our own way. We have awards named after us, stars, flowers and cakes.
VIVO Cafe – Your Local Soap Opera
We all know that I am not really a waitress. Or at least not only a waitress. I am really the counsellor, the event organiser, the marriage referee, the ultimate PA, a great barista, an awesome warrior waitress and my boss’s right & left hand. Basically I fix everything while serving people. I observe the perplexing bad behaviour of people who frequent our establishment. The complex personalities who really find it difficult to behave well, but incredibly easy to behave and act like buffoons. And those who have sometimes either lost the plot or just left it at home for the day. Its not that I don’t like my job, its that I think maybe I like it too much. My people need me…..
Business is Taxing
I know my boss is bad blush cranky right now – her face is the colour of a $2 blush. Really really bad look on her. I know its because of the Tax stuff that the Government has announced. That’s great work guys, really need her in a bad mood on a long term basis. Thanks heaps. I don’t understand it all, I mean I’m a warrior waitress, not a tax person. But cranky I do understand, her blog is http://blog.angelavithoulkas.com.au and you can read for yourself. Anyway, back to me.
A day in the life of Mr & Mrs Cranky Customer
I know I’m just a waitress. I know I don’t rock the world or rule the planet. I don’t make life threatening decisions or solve world poverty. But I can make or break your day.
I know my boss underestimates me, barely even acknowledges my existence. Except when she needs something. Just like Mr & Mrs Cranky. Hereby known as Mr Skim Flat White (SFW) and Mrs Skim Latte (SL). Lets see, where to start…. oh yeah, FIRST FREAKING THING IN THE MORNING.
Customer Rage VS Waitress Rage
For me its funny. I love Customer Rage. I thinks its hilarious how suddenly the shape of a butter portion is the most important thing in the world. And why don’t I have spare A4 paper lying around for you, or can I just plug in your IPhone and keep an eye on it in case you get a call from “Andrew”. Just to clear up a few things before we get into it though; butter tastes the same whether its a rectangle or square portion, A4 paper is not a standard waitress docket book and why didn’t you charge your phone at home? Read the rest of this entry »
What brings out the crazy cafe customers?
I used to think it was a full moon that brought out the interesting customers, then the heat and sometimes the rain. Now I believe maybe there is something in the water. Not our water – your water at home. Since once perfectly sane people have become insane. And could someone please explain to me why they find me. Can’t there be a special place for them and once they have rectified or solved or stopped drinking the water, then they can come back. Read the rest of this entry »
