I used to think it was a full moon that brought out the interesting customers, then the heat and sometimes the rain. Now I believe maybe there is something in the water. Not our water – your water at home. Since once perfectly sane people have become insane. And could someone please explain to me why they find me. Can’t there be a special place for them and once they have rectified or solved or stopped drinking the water, then they can come back.

Let me give you some examples, a typical morning at the cafe:

6.00am – Large Skim Flat White 3/4 teaspoon sugar (like he can tell if its a full teaspoon or not) wants to know when I will be getting the papers for him to read. When I’m ready and the newsagency has opened. Or not if he yells at me again.

6.09am – Diet Coke Can six straws. Yes, six straws. Mess all over my counter, dribbles down the glass and thinks its funny as well. Yeah, hilarious.

6.22am – Short Black but not too short, just below normal but not halfway. ITS 25ml OF COFFEE. How exactly will the world change if its 23ml. Of course it could make all the difference to Climate Change. Should tell Kevin next time I see him.

6.39am – Cappuccino extra fluff. Not froth or foam, she wants extra fluff. Don’t we all.

6.59am – Bacon & Egg Sandwich BBQ on one side and pepper on the other. Don’t put together otherwise he wont eat it and will bring it back if he gets it to go. Also wants a bottle of V, but 3rd from the front. Not 2nd or fourth. Sometimes when he sits down and can’t see me I get the 6th one!

7.02am – Strong Long Black. I wish. He always wants a tissue. Not a napkin, a tissue. A Kleenex Eucalyptus one. Can you read my thoughts here?

And these are just some of the 62 minutes of my day. Lucky I love my job

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