Women are trouble. Big statement? Yes. Am I a woman hater for saying that, or betraying my sisters? No. I said trouble, I didn’t say dumb or slow or painful. Just trouble.

Men are easy. Easy to serve, easy to work out and even easier to work a big tip from. Just takes a touch….

Women are trouble because we think, plot and organise. We rally. Think about it. There is no man movement. Men have really done nothing astonishing ever. They just exist. Women change laws, shift the very universe on its foundations just to get our own way. We have awards named after us, stars, flowers and cakes.

Speaking of cakes….Miss Chocolate cupcake & skinny hot chocolate (cause that’s what you have when you are in calorie denial) has worked out how to get Mr Short Black to pay her bill every single time. 19 times so far. They are not married, they are not having any physical relations at all – she’s a bit fugly, barely work together. They met in the takeaway coffee line. I gotta make it go faster before it becomes the Black Widow Pick Up Line.

Ms Fluffy Latte (her words, not mine) comes down for her bosses lunch everyday. This is of course a selfless act on the surface. Hard worker, committed to going above and beyond the call of duty. Yeah, ok, lets call it that. Or we could call it “I will also put my dry cleaning in with his and he can pay for it since he has no idea). Or “who cares what goes on his credit card because he never sees his statement” Or (my personal favourite) “paid for my holiday because for some reason my card didn’t work and it was an online buy now special and he said pay me back when you can”

And of course lets not leave out Mr Fanta. He brings in the little Fantas every school holidays for the past 2 years. 3 little girl Fantas. Really stunning. Really switched on and sucking up dads money faster than he will ever make it. Get used to it pops.

Women govern most areas of life, influence many many things. And now we have a Female PM. Hope she remembers that woman come with X-RAY vision for seeing through other woman and she better treat us good. All of us. Even the boys. A bit. Sometimes.

Cheers,

Its Cupcake Time!!!