Yuk!  Being nice sucks.  I think it tastes a bit like a weak decaf soy latte extra hot.

I personally have never had one (NOR DO I INTEND TO). Thank goodness things got back to normal this month because I noticed that certain issues which SOME people took offence to actually take place in other places outside of VIVO.

For instance, we – as in the community of VIVO including staff and customers, get annoyed with people who take an hour to get their money out when they get to the front of the queue. Apparently people do that on the buses as well. They get on with a $50 note or no ticket on a ticket only bus. I am sure Bus drivers could write a pretty interesting LUST & LATTE letter.

And then there is shopping trolley rage. Perfectly sane people go nuts when they are in possession of a metal basket on wheels. I admit to not going shopping much because, lets face it; I have a couple of chefs and a mother who are at my beck & call so groceries are not a priority. But I have ventured out a couple of times recently and while waiting at the deli counter in a shopping centre I noticed the intense look of pure violence on shoppers faces if people tried to approach the counter near where they were “parked”. And it’s mostly little old ladies.

I took mama on her day trip and we nearly got caught up in a brawl between a DKNY dressed 60 something and an 80 something Best & Less special. No I did not instigate it. So, my point is this: customers behave badly everywhere & anywhere. It’s just that LVL & Lust & Latte and maybe Funniest Home Videos are the only places that tell the truth. So there. (Please imagine me poking my tongue out here, except for Mr Short Black 4 sugars who I know would get turned on by it)

SEX IN THE CITY – OUR VERSION

So, there I was running around being waitress extraordinaire and serving customers and clearing tables and taking orders, when I came across a table of 4 gentlemen. Now you know I don’t listen to your conversations on purpose, I actually try not to because I AM BUSY, but sometimes you speak very loudly and I can’t help it.

These boys were discussing the “dating game, today’s rules and what women really want”. It was amazing to hear so much emotion – choking up now even as I am writing this, so much conversation about their feelings and all the challenges they face with women. I was so enthralled by them that I tried to find 6 thousand excuses to keep going back to them and be around them.

Did you know women are demanding and all we want is commitment? Do we know how much pressure we put on men with these expectations? Well Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda & Samantha, please don’t take this personally, but BIG DEAL.

No such thing as a free lunch babe. Booty comes at price. And like my dad says, suck it up and be miserable with the rest of us.

SSUP – Sunny Side Up

Ordinarily, this is a term reserved for how you like your eggs done, but since we are far from ordinary at VIVO, we can also use it to describe activity. Like Mr Raisin toast w/ vegemite no butter who sat on a chair backwards so his back could get warm. I don’t make it, I just tell it.

RULE # 6235 – NEWS FLASH

When we say we offer newspapers & magazines to our customers as a value added service, this does not mean:

-       come in and take 15 papers to your table all at once

-       steal them – like we can’t see them stuffed under your arm

-       tear huge bits out – we can hear you!

-       steal my Vogue or Harpers 2 minutes after I put it out.

-       make me go and take a paper from another table – unless you’re cute or I’m in it!

On a personal note

I want to thank my dog box for my special gift. You rock.

Until next time we meet to discuss some of the more interesting

parts of our coffee adventures. It’s all good.