How cold has it been!  I am not one to moan – much, but I do not operate efficiently while shivering constantly and not being able to feel my toes.

How many layers can I wear? Currently I am at 4-5 depending on the time of the day and how I feel. I need the heater at 30 degrees to feel comfortable. Minimum.

Or I am contemplating a new VIVO procedure called HUG – A – MAN Day. This will be a simple straight forward system where a male subject is selected based on their potential to create warmth. He is then hugged tightly and if necessary your hands are then shoved up inside his shirt.

This can be slightly uncomfortable for the male subject, but very satisfying for the inflictor. I am still in the testing phase, selecting subjects at random and gathering the appropriate data. So far, Mr Incredible Abs is leading the competition. He seems very co operative.

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE

Please please please people, when you stand at the kiosk to order, understand that there are sirens, ambulances, fire trucks and crowds that are all competing to be heard. If you mumble you will get the wrong coffee. Or get the same coffee everyday like the rest of Sydney so you don’t need to talk. And if you insist on changing your hair colour and wearing huge Audrey Hepburn sunglasses – Mr ¾ flat white, then yes, we will stare and ask you again what your order is. It’s never boring at VIVO.

WANDERERS

Oki doki boys and girls lets discuss seating arrangements. This is a café, not pre school or day care or romper room (bring back Miss Helena!). When 2 x Hot Chocolates or 2 of anything come in (because they always order the same thing together), we never put their order through straight away because we NEVER know where will end up sitting. Sometimes the chairs are not comfortable, sometimes the table is not quite square (still trying to work that one out because ALL THE TABLES ARE 800mm x 800mm) sometimes the sun makes rainbow like patterns on the table and its annoying for them. Pick a table people, any table, but just one table. Sit down, relax. Don’t move.

VIVO RULE # 784 PARTS A, B, C…..

Our business is customer service. Our goal is customer satisfaction. The Macquarie Dictionary defines customers as “a purchaser, someone who exchanges currency for goods or services”. So naturally, a person who comes into our café and sits down, unpacks their own lunch and drink is not a customer. Would you take your own beer to a pub? Clearly they have just come through the Star gate.

LOOKING LOOKING ……

Picture this: 10.00am Mr Large Latte takes a seat in the corner, waiting for his colleague Mr Sparkling Water. He doesn’t know what he looks like but apparently the relationship has progressed enough on the telephone that he orders for him. 10.30am, Large Latte is finished and he is starting on the mineral water. Meanwhile, outside is sitting Mr OJ no ice, waiting for his colleague whom he also has no idea what he looks like. They both wait until 11.00am. Then they come up to the register, pay their respective bills and start dialling virtually simultaneously each other. “Where are you?” they say in unison. They turn around, look at each other and the rest as they say is history. The moral to this story: don’t change your drink, wear a name badge and OPEN YOUR EYES!

PS

I always look forward to your feedback regarding LUST & LATTE, thank you everyone. And to my secret spies/dobbers, keep up the good work!!!!

Until next time we express creative information between gorgeous, attractive and modest people,

here’s to a good dose of Lust & a strong Latte.