Lust and Latte
A Blog by the Little VIVO Lady
She is the Warrior Waitress, also known as LVL. Think Basil Fawlty & Fawlty Towers meets waitress with attitude in the CBD.
Mmm, let me see. She's writing about you and all the little things that can happen when you think she's not looking.
Just when you thought it was safe to sip your decaff soy latte or enjoy your Turkish toast with "really light butter and a tiny bit of vegemite cooked to a golden but light brown almost honey colour." Seriously, think about it.
Lust & Latte is about love, hate, revenge, caffeine and the hospitality way. Little VIVO Lady is always in the right place at the right time to witness and report the antics of the CBD.
Do you know something she doesn't?
Business is Taxing
I know my boss is bad blush cranky right now – her face is the colour of a $2 blush. Really really bad look on her. I know its because of the Tax stuff that the Government has announced. That’s great work guys, really need her in a bad mood on a long term basis. Thanks heaps. I don’t understand it all, I mean I’m a warrior waitress, not a tax person. But cranky I do understand, her blog is http://blog.angelavithoulkas.com.au and you can read for yourself. Anyway, back to me.
Pulling a Business Face
My boss has rules, she’s got rules about everything. It can be frustrating and annoying and boring. But its her business blah blah blah & whatever. One of the rules I agree with (I will never ever tell her though) is my business face. She’s got this rule about swearing at customers or telling them what we really think – like that stops me. I just choose to mostly say stuff when the customer can’t hear or when they are leaving. So, since I can’t verbally express myself, since I can’t be honest out loud, I agree that I should look it. Her rule is for our business face to reflect the message of the business. Sometimes my message can include my tongue sticking out and/or my nose scrunching. It can sometimes include a snort. That’s a sound not a word and I think a snort is a facial expression anyway. Try it, you can’t snort without making some kind of face.
Declutter Your Customer
Its not what you think. Decluttering your customer is not about accessory reduction – although with some people LESS IS MORE, certainly with Ms Weak Long Black who we can hear before we see coming into the shop, or Mr Strong Black Tea who we can smell before we see. Its not about their emotional baggage either, even though they take out there frustrations on me & mine. Its about making sure they shed all their illusions regarding their retail behaviour before they begin their paying activity with you.
A day in the life of Mr & Mrs Cranky Customer
I know I’m just a waitress. I know I don’t rock the world or rule the planet. I don’t make life threatening decisions or solve world poverty. But I can make or break your day.
I know my boss underestimates me, barely even acknowledges my existence. Except when she needs something. Just like Mr & Mrs Cranky. Hereby known as Mr Skim Flat White (SFW) and Mrs Skim Latte (SL). Lets see, where to start…. oh yeah, FIRST FREAKING THING IN THE MORNING.
The Politics of Hospitality Customer Service
Are there politics in service?
Hospitality customer service is what I am referring to. Short answer, yes. Long answer, yeessss. There are many politically sensitive issues in service that require various degrees of maneuvering, gentle persuasions and sometimes outright declaration of war. They don’t call me the Warrior Waitress for nothing.
Of course sex and politics have always gone hand in hand. Just before all your minds seep into the gutter, by sex I mean boys and girls, as in M or F. Not the act of doing, but the state of being a M or a F. Most sensitive issues in Hospitality occur around the M / F situation. Read the rest of this entry »
George Michael, Lust & Latte and Rude People
Its been a long day, its almost a full moon and I have been waiting patiently for George Michael at the Sydney Football Stadium. I am finally relaxing after another hectic week serving lingering lattes and catastrophic cappuccinos. People breakup over lattes and get fired over cappuccinos. Anyway that’s all for another day. Read the rest of this entry »
Customer Rage VS Waitress Rage
For me its funny. I love Customer Rage. I thinks its hilarious how suddenly the shape of a butter portion is the most important thing in the world. And why don’t I have spare A4 paper lying around for you, or can I just plug in your IPhone and keep an eye on it in case you get a call from “Andrew”. Just to clear up a few things before we get into it though; butter tastes the same whether its a rectangle or square portion, A4 paper is not a standard waitress docket book and why didn’t you charge your phone at home? Read the rest of this entry »
What brings out the crazy cafe customers?
I used to think it was a full moon that brought out the interesting customers, then the heat and sometimes the rain. Now I believe maybe there is something in the water. Not our water – your water at home. Since once perfectly sane people have become insane. And could someone please explain to me why they find me. Can’t there be a special place for them and once they have rectified or solved or stopped drinking the water, then they can come back. Read the rest of this entry »
Hardly a Refund
It isn’t hard to realise why some climb the corporate ladder & others can’t even find it! Here is a snippet of a morning conversation with an example of a future CEO at our busy kiosk section:
VIVO Rate-Your-Partner and more
As you all know, L & L is entirely made up of fiction – or is it? Of course it is. Strange things never happen here, and people never surprise me…. Nor do they participate in compromising activities in public. Well, almost never. And certainly never at VIVO. As part of our ongoing commitment to outstanding customer service, we believe it is our duty to communicate with you certain events and daily occurrences which could be of interest to our customers. So basically we’re dobbing.
