“I am not your mother” is a phrase I must say about 100 times a day. To customers, other staff members and my boss (not out loud to HER you understand, I’m not suicidal – see HER blog http://blog.angelavithoulkas.com.au “Mothering Your Business”)

Its a strange situation when those who appear to be grown ups act like children and require mothering in the workplace. It appears that all maturity is stripped away once they cross over – walk in the front door basically. Male customers behave like pigtail pulling pre adolescents, female customers act like obsessed teenagers from Gossip Girl or Home & Away and my comrades, well THEY act like we are in a zoo. I blame the customers for this too.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

• Mr Strong Skim Flat White “I’m your best customer aren’t I?” Sure you are.
• Miss Extra Hot Hot Chocolate “Do you have a blanket, I’m cold” So wanna say something here.
• Ms Large Latte “I want a latte but I want it in a cup because the glass is hot” So you want a flat white.
• Mr Weak Skim Flat White “can I have some chocolate sprinkles on my flat white?” No comment.
• Mr OJ “I want freshly squeezed juice but can you strain it for me?” PULLEEEESE people.
• Miss Coke Zero ‘can you make my coke zero not too cold?” Sure, couple of seconds in the microwave should do it.
• Mr Cappuccino ‘I want banana porridge but I don’t want the porridge. Can I have just the banana cooked in the porridge but take it out?” Can I NOT serve you?

These are a snapshot of a few seconds, admittedly during peak time, but still too much. Would you ask or do these things at home? Do you go to a cafe and expect to get served by smiley happy people who are still gonna be smiley happy after some of these requests? Its a no answer in case you were wondering. Even your mother would flick your ear, and trust me when I say that’s nothing compared to our thoughts. Next time a warrior waitress serves you and she doesn’t seem HAPPY, look at who’s table she has just left. Could be Mr Peek A Boo – he likes to hide his cutlery and thinks its funny when he ends up with 4 or 5 sets. Yep, it’s cafe day-care.

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