My boss has rules, she’s got rules about everything. It can be frustrating and annoying and boring. But its her business blah blah blah & whatever. One of the rules I agree with (I will never ever tell her though) is my business face. She’s got this rule about swearing at customers or telling them what we really think – like that stops me. I just choose to mostly say stuff when the customer can’t hear or when they are leaving. So, since I can’t verbally express myself, since I can’t be honest out loud, I agree that I should look it. Her rule is for our business face to reflect the message of the business. Sometimes my message can include my tongue sticking out and/or my nose scrunching. It can sometimes include a snort. That’s a sound not a word and I think a snort is a facial expression anyway. Try it, you can’t snort without making some kind of face.

Let me explain in detail about my business face and how I believe it follows the rule of reflecting our message – Exceptional Customer Service. Except when the customer orders a short black, 2 people hear him order a short black but when I take him the short black he says he ordered a flat white. This is a snort business face. Exceptional Customer Service, except when Mr Gucci shoes pushes past you when you are carrying a full tray of beers and doesn’t even say sorry while it all tumbles down. He just flashes you a “sucked in” look. This is the poke your tongue out business face. Exceptional Customer Service except when Ms Coke Zero short changes you again on the bill and again your tips make up the shortfall. This is a “I’m gonna kill her” business face which includes the bulging eyes and short breaths. How can she not turn to stone with my death look ?

Lets face it, it isn’t easy keeping face. I have a lot of experience which I am passing on to the young ones. I’m like their face mentor. I should teach it at Tafe or something. Or open my own Warrior Waitress school. And create an army.

Okay, gotta go and plan world domination.

See ya, facing off.